ProgressOhio

A ProgressOhio Member writes an ode to Phil Burress of Citizens for Community Values while nominating him for Ohio Grinch of The Year!

THAT PORN I SCORN 

Porn

Scorn 

That porn I scorn.

That porn I scorn.

I do not like

that porn I scorn. 

Would you read it

in a stall? 

I would not read it

in a stall.

I would not read that porn

at all.

I would not read

that porn I scorn.

Not in the night

nor in the morn.

I would not read it

here or there.

I would not read it

anywhere! 

Would you read it

in your house?

Would you watch it

with your spouse? 

I would not read it

in my house.

I don’t have to!

I have my spouse!

She’s the one –

are you ready?

Who reads it to me

in her teddy.

She describes it

‘til I pant.

I yearn to peek –

but I can’t! 
 

Would you view nudes

in a museum?

This is art!

Please, come and see ‘em! 

I would not visit

that museum.

You can’t either!

You can’t see see ‘em

There’s shots of bums

and even peters.

We have to ban them!

Quick, call Joe Deters!

Let’s tell Joe,

“Ignore the muggings,

the petty thefts,

the corporate buggings.’’

Let’s save our town!

It’s people too.

Let’s ban all porn

for me and you. 

A train!

A train!

Could you, would you

on a train? 

Not on a train!

Not in a stall!

Not in a museum! Nowhere at all!

Don’t you get it

you common slut?

I decide who sees what!

I define what makes smut!

I re-write your Constitution.

I seek a ban on evolution.

I decide what you can read

and watch and rent

and what you need. 
 

You don’t like it

so you say.

Try it! Try it!

And you may.

And if you don’t?

Stop this baloney.

We all know

you’re one big phony.

We all know

you’re one big leech

who hates all gays

and scorns free speech. 
 

But thanks, much Phil

for not giving an inch.

I nominate you

to be this year’s

Grinch.

Who do you think should be named
The "Ohio Grinch Of The Year"?