ProgressOhio

As a representative of the little old lady (lol) lobby, I'd like to bring attention to the special needs and concerns of short people.

I'm 5'1/2" and shrinking. I'm in the front row of just about every group photo from my childhood. Except for swimming and gymnastics, I didn't even try to play sports as a kid. Most gym equipment, such as Nautilus machines, cannot be adjusted down to my size.

They use a child-size blood pressure cuff on me at the doctor's office. When I recently got a colonoscopy (do it, 50+ people!), the doctor reported I was a "technical challenge." Tight curves, apparently.

I started going to a chiropractor, who confirmed that a lifetime of sitting in too-big chairs has probably contributed to my neck and back soreness. (I highly recommend chiropractic therapy to people of all sizes. Besides relieving pain without drugs, spinal adjustments energize you and help you to breathe more deeply. The downside is that most health insurance doesn't cover chiropractors [about $50 per session] and the beneficial effects are temporary [3-7 days, I'd say].)

Driving is a big issue for us shorties. Small sports cars are designed for tall men. Move the driver's seat all the way up and fully upright, and you're dangerously close to the airbag. The shoulder belt cuts across your neck. (I solved this annoying problem with a sheepskin seat belt cover I purchased at the Ohio State Fair.) I prefer to drive a manual, but with most cars, if the seat is far forward, the stick shift is behind you, leaving you to awkwardly shift with your elbow pointed up. The only cars I've found that I can comfortably drive are a Kia Rio, Geo Metro and the original VW Beetle. (I can tell your eyes are welling up in sympathy now.)

On the plus side, being a petite woman affords you many shopping opportunities. Second-hand stores are filled with size 2 dresses, often with the tags still attached.

People want to help you -- get that book off the top shelf...whatever. I let them. Makes them feel good about themselves.

My complaints about societal heightism are mainly ergonomic. For men, it's a different story. They face serious height discrimination in relationships and on the job. In sports, the short athlete is known as "scrappy." If a short man backs down from a confrontation, he's labeled a wimp or worse. If he's aggressive, he is said to suffer from "short man syndrome." No matter what he does, the short guy can't win.

In my quickie research for this little essay, I came across the useful Short Person Support site. Check out the Who's Who of Short People. Who knew Nikita Krushchev was 5'3"?

Also, I can see how clothes shopping can be a real problem for short guys. (My local mall has three petite women stores and a big & tall men's shop. So not fair.) I recommend Bob Stern's Short Sizes in Cleveland. Stern, a 5'2" lawyer and accountant by training, started his business in 1971 because "the world had enough good lawyers, what it needed was a good clothing store for shorter men." Good man.

Politically, elevation egotism seems to be abating somewhat. Until 2000, only two of 12 presidential elections in the television era had been won by the shorter candidate -- Nixon in 1972 and Carter in 1976. Although I'd hardly call it a victory for short people, George W. Bush is the first person under 6' tall (he's 5'11") to occupy the White House in two decades. Ohio's scrappy Dennis Kucinich, 5'7", has got to be one of the shortest candidates to run for President. (I could also look eye-to-eye with Mike DeWine. It's just that I didn't want to.)

Here's a thought: If 5'7" Hillary goes all the way, she'll be the most diminutive President in at least a century.  Prepare for a kick in the shins, Randy Newman!