ProgressOhio

If collapse of the polar ice caps is too remote of a threat for you, consider one of the side effects of global warming: more ubiquitous and virulent poison ivy.

Yup, increased carbon dioxide in the atmosphere has a fertilizing effect on the nasty vine. Leaves grow bigger and faster, and produce more noxious oil.

"Duke University botanist William Schlesinger says the vine's exuberant response to carbon dioxide may have unsettling implications for human health as the level of the gas in the atmosphere continues to increase.

"Higher levels of carbon dioxide also impacts the health of forests, which some botanists feel, are already suffering because of the uncontrolled growth of vines at the expense of trees and other plants."

Yuck. I hate poison ivy. As a kid, it was a Calamine lotion ritual every summer. Now, even though I'm extra-careful about avoiding it and washing up just in case, I sometimes still get the nasty rash.

However, I'm no longer feeling sorry for myself after viewing the Skin Rash Hall of Fame at poison-ivy.org. The purpose of this site is to sell poison ivy identification charts. (Read the sarcastic "How to Make Your Own Poster.") There are also some great poison ivy stories, including a guy who was splattered with juice when he cut a 4" diameter vine with a chain saw.

In Ohio, poison ivy in leaves-of-three vine form is very common along the edges of forests and highway berms. Our current wet weather and increasing CO2 are only going to make it worse.

Poison ivy reminds us -- like gophers collapsing levees -- Nature will prevail. Don't try to outrun a tornado. Don't feed wild animals. Don't swim into the riptide. Don't think for a minute that you can win a competition with Big Mama. She'll beat you every time.

I think Mom's PO'd at all the abuse we've given her lately, and this itchy kudzu is her way of disciplining us.