ProgressOhio

U.S. Sen. George Voinovich’s decision to drop an f-bomb in a private conversation with Karl Rove inspired a 2007 trivia quiz.  His recent off-color assessment of the new climate change bill prompted us to update the survey.

As long-time Georgiephiles know, Ohio's senior senator has a temper than can be real hot.

Take the Temper Trivia Test to see just how hot. 

1. When the FAA grounded his state airplane to clear the airspace for President Clinton, Voinovich told the control tower to go:

A. blow

B. screw themselves

C. screw the Democrats

D. fly a kite

E. to hell.  

2. When the FAA grounded his state airplane to clear the airspace for President Clinton, Voinovich called the decision:

A. bullsh*t

B. horsesh*t

C. cow sh*t

D. a vast left-wing conspiracy

E. Dick Celeste's fault.  

3. After the incident, the FAA fined Voinovich and accused him of trying to:

A. impersonate a licensed pilot

B. impersonate an air traffic controller

C. impersonate a rational man

D. endanger the life or property of another.

E. harm the reputation of the United States Senate.  

4. When welfare recipients descended on the Statehouse to protest then-Gov. Voinovich's plans to cut welfare benefits he:

A. ordered the Ohio Highway Patrol to remove them

B. ordered the Ohio National Guard to shoot them

C. ordered Mike Dawson to spin them

D. blamed Dick Celeste

E. cried  

5. As Cleveland Mayor, Voinovich hosted a news conference to urge people to patronize the struggling Cleveland Indians. When a reporter pressed the mayor for information about the last time he had attended a game, Mayor Voinovich blurted out:

A. Go Browns. And take the Indians with you.

B. Who-Dey!

C. Rah, rah, rah. Get behind the team.

D. The tickets are too pricey.

E. Frank Celeste hated baseball.   

6. When the Ohio Supreme Court first ruled that the state's system of funding public schools was unconstitutional, Voinovich's initial response was to:

A. cry

B. blame Dick Celeste and the Democrats

C. want to strip the court of its authority to determine what constitutes a constitutional school-funding plan

D. put out a contract on Paul Pfeifer and Andy Douglas

E. cry harder  

7. When the Ohio Supreme Court again ruled that the state's system of funding public schools was unconstitutional, Voinovich responded by:

A. accusing the OEA of being greedy

B. accusing Democrats of being greedy

C. accusing Pfeifer and Douglas of being Democrats

D. blaming Dick Celeste

E. appointing a commission   

8. When explaining his opposition to cap and trade legislation, Senator Voinovich said:

A. “They should call it crap and trade.”

B. “There is just a lot of crap in there.”

C. “Where did all this crap come from?’’

D. “Who gives a crap?’’

E. “If crap falls in the forest, and no one else is present, does it really make a smell?’’ 

Answers:

1. B (screw themselves)

2. A (bullsh*t)

3. D (endanger the life or property of another)

4. E (cried)

5. C (Rah, rah, rah. Get behind the team).

6. B (blame Dick Celeste and the Democrats ) and C (wanted to strip the court of its authority)

7. E. (appointing a commission)

8. B (There is just a lot of crap in there.)  

Non-Temper Bonus Question:

On the day of his inauguration as governor, a tuxedo-clad Voinovich signaled his desire to tighten the state's belt when he:

A. Sold inaugural mugs engraved with "Let's Work Harder and Smarter and Do More With Less.''

B. Gave free inaugural pencils stenciled with "Let's Work Harder and Smarter and Do More With Less.''

C. Signed an executive order to cap state spending.

D. Signed an executive order to cap tuition at public colleges.

E. Picked a penny out of a urinal.  

Answer to Bonus Question:

E. Picked a penny out of a urinal

Here is a new video of Shirtless Lee that is more entertaining than the original:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9Mydttq6eM

Today, Lee Fisher's Senate campaign issued a rare public policy statement and the topic was health care.

Anthony, at Ohio Daily, points out that Fisher's policy statement comes "weeks'' after "similar statements or policy papers from the Brunner campaign,'' including her call today for health care reform legislation that includes a public insurance option.

Anthony sums up Fisher's less-than-detailed statement here:

http://www.ohiodailyblog.com/content/fisher-issues-first-policy-stances-offers-statement-health-care-principles

But on the lighter side, the Republican blogs have a video of a shirtless Lee Fisher explaining his concern that the '06 governor's race had no clear and concise message. Politico has picked it up. So have newspapers in Cincinnati and Dayton. All I can say is that Jane Godall would love this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ly0DD5Gv0Hw

Brunner talks about her broader views on health care here:

http://www.jenniferbrunner.com/index.php/pages/issues

David Letterman and Sarah Palin have both moved on, but that didn't stop a few dozen protesters from turning up to a “Fire David Letterman” rally outside the Ed Sullivan Theater tonight.

Watch It:

I was poking around Microsoft's new search engine when I stumbled across the following:

Sonia Sotomayor goes from a childhood out of a Lifetime movie to possibly becoming the first Latina justice on the Supreme Court.

Watch It:

Menstrual-phobic radio show host and convicted Watergate conspirator G. Gordon Liddy demonstrated his depth of understanding of gender discrimination with this comment about Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor:

Liddy said, “Let’s hope that the key conferences aren’t when she’s menstruating or something, or just before she’s going to menstruate. That would really be bad. Lord knows what we would get then," according to the Womens Media Center.

Now substitute he for she, and the word masturbate for menstruate. Makes more sense doesn't it?

I would only hope we ask as much from justices Scalia, Roberts and the rest of them. Just saying.

Judge Sonia Sotomayor could be the first U.S. Supreme Court nominee for which YouTube plays a role in her confirmation hearings.

Appeals Court Judge Sonia Sotomayor, considered a leading contender to replace David Souter on the Supreme Court, speaks on a panel at Duke Univ. Law School in 2005.

She is responding to a question on the pros and cons of different types of judicial clerkships.

Expect this clip to be viewed a million times today:

-Taegan Goddard

I planted a small tuft of Robert Mitchum Peppermint a few years ago between our fence and driveway. I don't know why this herb is named after the '50s film noir star of Cape Fear and Night of the Hunter (where Mitchum plays a super-creepy preacher with "Love" and "Hate" tattooed on his knuckles). I guess some horticulturist just liked the actor and wanted to honor him.

I like Bob Mitchum too -- the guy got busted for smoking pot in the '40s. A true risk taker. He's vintage beefcake with a honey voice and stoner eyes. Like Bettie Page, he's sexiest in black and white.

So in honor of Mitchum, I planted just one little seedling (too bad it couldn't have been a more useful medicinal herb), and now I've got invasive peppermint shooting out everywhere, busting through the driveway blacktop. If you park in our driveway, you get minty-fresh tires and vague thoughts of Christmas.

I also have Annie Hall Thyme growing, which got me thinking about celebrity-named plants (and Woody Allen movies). It seems the most nameable plants are roses. There are dozens of roses named after real people. There are country singer roses (Reba McEntyre, Minnie Pearl), First Lady roses (Barbara Bush), political leader roses (Helmut Schmidt, JFK), lots of entertainer roses (Elizabeth Taylor, Henry Fonda, Rosie O'Donnell, Carrot Top), a troubled carmaker nameplate rose (Chrysler Imperial), as well as a few inexplicable rose names (Weight Watchers Success and Stainless Steel).

Why not develop a strain of Tina Louise Gingeroot, Lindsey Lohan Chickweed, Miss California Melons or Rod Parsley-in-the-Pulpit?

A separate garden area would be necessary for invasive political species. Next to the Phlox News Hackberrys, for example, you might find a Burning Bush, Dickweed Thistle, Monica Lewinsky Honeysuckle, Rod Blago Forget-Me-Nots, Don't Ask, Don't Tell Ladys Slippers and Enhanced Interrogation Nettles.

Delicate species, such as Columbine: The Flower, are at risk of being choked out by Beltway Virginia Creeper and Lobbyist Milkweed.

It's best to use Bleeding Hearts as a border to the Big Guvment Garden. It doesn't produce anything edible, but you never have to prune it.

According to the Columbus Dispatch, (http://www.dispatchpolitics.com/live/content/local_news/stories/2009/02/24/ copy/capfish.html?sid=101), she makes $88,379. Her predecessor, Mark Barbash, who is on accrued leave at the rate of $128,356, makes nearly $40,000 more. He will be paid $40,000 to do nothing other than straighten out his personal financial affairs on the state dole.

Meanwhile, the new, lower-paid, tax-paying director will carry the load of a department tasked with bringing jobs to a state that is seeing jobs flee at a furious pace.

Barbash succeeds Lt. Gov. Lee Fisher who was paid $142,500 annually but now makes $75,000 so he can run around the state on our nickel and campaign for the U.S. Senate.

Two Questions:

1. Does the Lily Ledbetter Act not apply in Ohio?

2. What do Women for Lee think about this one?

Watch It:

Pentagon Reports Army Mascot 'Liberty' Killed in Iraq

President Barack Obama poked fun at himself and the Washington establishment Saturday night.

Obama spoke at the annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner. He took playful digs at his frequent use of a teleprompter and Vice President Joe Biden's knack for speaking off the cuff.

Republicans were also a target. Obama joked that former Vice President Dick Cheney couldn't make the dinner because writing his memoir, "How to shoot friends and interrogate people."

Watch It:

The $200-per-ticket dinner attracted plenty of VIPs from outside the Beltway.

Proceeds from the dinner will help feed the hungry and fund journalism scholarships. The association will donate more than $23,000 to the charity So Others Might Eat, including money raised by skipping formal dessert for guests.

The White House Correspondents Association was formed in 1914 as a liaison between the press and the president. Every president since Calvin Coolidge has attended the dinner.

Ladies, everyone is talking about the latest no-surgery way to make men's heads turn -- foot binding. Studies show that nine out of ten males are enchanted by young girls with deformed feet. If you act now, this secret to lifelong happiness can be yours!

Just what is this age-defying Ancient Chinese Secret? With our custom Lotus Feet (TM) regime, Asian matrons Yoko & Yaki come to your home to perform this very special, very personal beauty ritual. Sorry, we can't tell you how this proprietary beauty process is done. Suffice it to say, all you do is RELAX. In fact, you'll be off your feet for a long time.

Get that beauty pageant "perfect line" without the hassle of surgery. Your man will be saying, "Your Lotus Feet are so sexy, darling. I wish you had done that years ago!"

Foot binding -- It's endorsed by Donald Trump and Chinese pedophiles from the 10th century to today!*

* Ask about our Club Ped and LittleFeet4Ever financing plans. 

I was too busy posting snarky comments about Bible verses to notice that yesterday was the National Day of Prayer. Very fine Dispatch reporter Meredith Heagney wrote a wrap-up for the condensed Metro/Faith&Values section which included coverage of atheists and secularists holding a competing National Day of Reason on the Statehouse lawn.

Diverse Beliefs of America -- Don't you love it? I think it's what Thomas Jefferson had in mind when he wrote: "It causes me no injury if my neighbor believes in 20 gods or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg."

I once printed that quote on a sign and held up that sign at an anti-choice, anti-stem cell research, anti-gay "Christian" rally downtown. Well, if you think Christians are discriminated against, try being a secularist. Babykiller and bitch were just some of the names they called me.

While I thoroughly endorse the National Day of Prayer, National Day of Reason, TEA parties, and anyone else who wants to peaceably assemble and express themselves, President Obama has more pressing issues to deal with. I'm glad he broke with tradition and didn't spend the day with religious leaders -- he'd have to meet with every damn one of them. I think he already covered that territory during his inauguration.

Next to the Heagney article in The Dispatch was Religion Briefs (Mormons have those, I believe). There's a tragic news item about a beloved bishop who needed to have his leg amputated. I wonder, why don't all those Christians at the Statehouse pray for the bishop's leg to grow back? If God can cure disease, surely He doesn't discriminate against amputees.