The selection of Gordon Gee, before, during, and after, has been a disaster for the people of Ohio and for THE Ohio State University --- in spite of the gushy pr love-fest put on by the shameless establishment in favor of strangely going backwards and picking the elfin guy from the 1990's.
I love Ohio ... but I guess going forward is out of the question --- Leslie Limited wanted his boyfriend back. First, Wexner deftly packs THE OSU Board of Trustees by easily controlling the Legislature with a suprise amendment to add new 6 trustees and also to lift the ban on previous tustees from serving, such as himself. No problem for him.
Then Hapless Karen Holbrook gets paid off with some ridiculously favorable articles in the Dispatch (given she was being canned) and a way overly generous severance payment, just short of hush money some say --- including a secret $250,000 bonus. Obnoxious squared.
The suspicious secrecy led the previously fawning daily paper to issue a mild rebuke to THE guilty guilty guilty Ohio State University for deliberately violating Ohio's Open Meeting Laws with impunity. The "tough on crime" conservative righteous lawmakers are predictably silent because the trustees will rectify this crime problem in their own minds when they act ex post facto in late September since they are all above the law --- unfortunately the money has been already spent. There is no recourse. There is no accountablity, you see because it's THE.
The final frosting cost another $175,000 with a giant wasted payment to a fancy Cleveland head-hunting firm that hardly earned its pay with a lame list of inferior candidates and a silly visit to Gee to be told "No". Later, when the trustees promised Gee Twice as much as the Woman President got, he changed his mind. Because it's THE.
And if I told you the new president actually carries around a real Mini-Gee with him to public events, matching clown-sized bowties and all, and it's not an act, it's his true-life son-in-law, you wouldn't believe me. You certainly wouldn't hire him to head the THE. But Swordfish is merely reporting what he observes. More later.
I Dreamed I Saw Joe Hill Last Night
The surreal passage of the budget bill 97-0 in the House today with no rancor and no amendments was eclipsed by dozens of marching pink-shirted stripper momstudents. The women were personally lobbying against SB 16, the so-called Anti-stripper Bill which has already passed the Senate (24-8) and may be ridiculously headed for the fall ballot in Ohio. The uncomfortable married guy-officials blushed all over the marble floors.
The whole color-co-ordinated action was lovingly recorded by leering largely male electronic media and the "Dancers for Democracy" were able to broadcast their message of sanity for the General Assembly over the public airwaves. You can't buy p.r. like that. Sincere thanks to the women organizing this resistance to creeping fascism in Ohio.
Budget, Shmudget
Come on Democrats, get it together. Is there nothing in $53 billion worth of spending you could improve upon? The GOP in the House had 800 amendments to Strickland's budget plan and the Democrats had none. Instead, the giddy Dems are falling over each other to unquestionally back the new Governor and wallow in bipartisan self-congratulations.
Just because Strickland's clever budget proposal has stumped the Republicans is no reason for the Democrats in the legislature to suspend representation. Some instant term-limited newbees are forgetting to do their job. It is not disloyal to Strickland to fight for what you believe in. The House deal-making sickens, again. No guts.
My Lunch With David McCullough
Everyman always comes to the Statehouse eventually, and today Pulitzer Prize winning author and historian David McCullough was the guest speaker at a lunch in the Atrium. Afterwards, he signed his works under the inside shadows of the limestone pillars --- Truman, John Adams, and 1776 among them --- and chatted with history lovers and book readers.
"I have a bionic arm!" the white-haired McCullough boasted as he speed signed a couple hundred of his works, each on the title page, of course. McCullough also expanded on his answer to one audience question, "What is the most important forgotten story in American history?" McCullough aswered correctly: Why, it's the story of the Northwest Ordinance of 1787 --- no slavery North of the Ohio River, public education for everyone, and an informed democracy --- and this, 2 whole years before the US Constitution! How quick we forget.
I asked McCullough if he had read Washington Irving's Life of Washington? (For his classic biography, Irving interviewed surviving revolutionaries who knew Washington) Some of it, he says. I asked about Gore Vidal's final memoir, Point to Point Navigation --- A Memoir , in which Vidal fears that his book reading generation is gone forever and that books will now fade as a popular art form. "Well, I don't agree with that!" McCullough spat. More later.
STRICKLAND NOT AN IDIOT
The Statehouse was a hardsoft fantasy stage this week, like a limestone Brigadoon --- beautiful on the outside and full of angry conflict on the inside. While the lavender rhododendrons bloomed peacefully in the Statehouse flowerbeds, a minor skirmish between the Bad Republicans and Team Strickland broke out in the House.
In the House Finance Committee, the GOP members needlessly badgered Strickland's budget director, Pari Sabety, over her evasive answers to the question as to whether the Governor's school funding budget was "constitutional". Of course she was evasive --- what the hell else was she supposed to say? That some of her member tormenters asking the stupid question are hypocrites, who they themselves are guilty guilty guilty of negligence on public education and should be drummed out of office?
Things got hot hammy ("You're out of order!" "No, YOU'RE out of order!) when the Democratic members came to Sabety's defense --- good for Strahorn of Dayton and Skindell of Lakewood. It was excellent theatre and by playing their parts, they stuck up for Strickland as well. It bodes wishing well for the coming budget rounds, as the Democrats dodged the cheesy roadside bomb.
19TH CENTURY PROGRESS
Meanwhile on the Senate side of the building, the Republicans took up pressing issues from a hundred and ten years ago. The Senators rushed a bill (SB 41) to ban certain words from the Ohio Revised Code, including "idiot", "imbecile", and "drunkard" --- the conservatives seemed a little defensive in their haste.
The Senators also heard testimony on a bill to allow the commercial sale of raw milk (can you say "listeria"?). Governor Strickland bravely weighed in on this issue, too, and he's opposed. But he hasn't been heared from yet on the so-called Community Defense Act which was before the Sexy Senate Committee on State and Local Government, and Veterans' Affairs for a second hearing.
The bill to stage a statewide initiative would regulate the adult entertainment industry, including hours of operation and stripper behavior distances (don't ask). Is this the biggest issue our troubled state is facing? The Republicans fell over each other in support of the bill even though it is batshit superfluous. Oy.
ALPHONSO WAS THE BEST
Fomer Governor Bob Taft unveiled his official gubenatorial portrait in the Statehouse rotunda this week and it was like shooting fish in a barrel. The portrait is nice, and the reporters and guests at the unveiling were nice, but most everybody made fun of Taft behind his back. Taft is the omega of the most important political dynastry in Ohio history --- and in US history, it rivals the Bushes and the Kennedys.
It started with Alphonso Taft, anti-slavery lawyer, President Grant's Attorney General, and fixer of the disputed 1876 presidential election for Hayes and the Republicans (Yes, the Democrats got srcrewed then, too). Since then, all the Taft boys were told three things --- you are going to Yale, you are going into politics, and you must marry up.
This crude practice of marrying up is called "hypergamy" and it has produced one President and Chief Justice, a couple of US Senators, and one very relieved ex-Governor. The idea remnant from the Gilded Age is to renew a family's genetic wealth by finding and marrying a strong woman and avoid a strain of (insert words here banned by Ohio General Assembly in the spring of 2007). More later.
Monday calm at the Statehouse and time to review the weekend ink. Ohio's gushy establishment editors have examined the Psycologist Minister Governor and his juicy budget speech and pronounced it fine for now --- that's what they always do. However, Ohio's management class wrongly continues to cling to the idea that Strickland whacked charter schools because he was rewarding his friends, the "greedy unions" --- after 16 years of Republican rule, that's how they think.
Strickland is committed to public education, period. This is a concept that eludes most Republicans and their love/hate newspaper supplicants. But they can only imagine venal reasons for Strickland's plan to increase the state's share for schools over the local share --- a reverse of a disasterous GOP school formula. So PUH-LEEZE quit blaming the "greedy unions". It's gauche.
TAX BUMPER MUMPER
Who could have predicted that the first tax increase bill in this 127th Ohio General Assembly would be introduced not by a Democrat (the alleged liberal tax party) but by a Republican, and a conservative one at that? I'm talking about Senator Larry Mumper (R- Winesburg, OH). Since the Republicans are so very clever at hammering on the tax issue, I will return the favor:
Tax Bumper Mumper is ramming his bill to RAISE TAXES through the Senate Ways and Means Committee. Tax Bumper Mumper wants to RAISE YOUR TAXES. Call Tax Bumper Mumper and tell him to STOP RAISING YOUR TAXES. And when you call Tax Bumper Mumper, call him TAX BUMPER MUMPER to his FACE, TEN TIMES FAST.
STATEHOUSE WILDLIFE
The fabled White Squirrel was spotted on the Statehouse grounds this week, munching some nuts on the House Chambers side. Statehouse lore holds that the White Squirrel re-appears when the Democrats are in power and the Republicans got nothing. More later.
With the Goodyear blimp spotted puttering blue overhead, March Madness came upon the Statehouse Friday --- strangely quiet but you could hear the college basketball games playing low and muffled yelping on both sides of the marbled aisle. Legions of legislative aides hauled heavy budget Blue Books between the offices to read and gently share, another reason for the quiet .
As reported before in this space, Democrats are much better at handling money and finances than the Republicans, and the Governor's budget has Ohio's legislative leadership stumped for the time being.
The bad Republicans are carefully studying these modest proposals before they call their play on Strickland --- probably something boringly Republican like "it doesn't add up!", or "it's a tax increase!", or "the Insurance Director is gay!". The ball is in their court, and they know it.
MARY CATHERINE'S
When March Madness converges with St. Patrick's Day, drinking is heard in the old neighborhood, especially when THE Ohio State University is playing --- "WOO-HOOOO!" they shout spilling out from the Short North bars looking like wildmen with green wigs and red shirts. Of course, the Antique business goes south while the games are on, basketball and football seasons alike.
Still, some sales were made and a model C Edison Standard Phonograph and 2 wax cylinders came in off the street, from the estate of a guys' dads' great aunt he said. The amazing range of technology for sale at Mary Catherines spans back a hundred years --- no TV's though.
MICHAEL BALDWIN
Speaking of drinking, some things never change. Ohio's first Speaker of the House of Representatives was Michael Baldwin the well-connected Yalie and lawyer for the tavern crowd during territorial days --- drinking, gambling, and statehood were the big issues in Chillecothe. According to pioneer penman Rev. James B. Finley, politics was mainly preoccupied with "the suppression of drunkeness."
Jailed for repeated contempt citations, Baldwin incited his rowdy crowd known as the "bloodhounds" to spring him as well as to provide mobs for electioneering, shouting parades, and fighting. On Christmas Eve in 1801 Baldwin and his bloodhounds attempted to tar and feather the anti-statehood Territorial Governor Arthur St. Clair, who was cowering, ironically, upstairs at the William Keyes Tavern --- and where Baldwin and his gang had run up a very large tab, drinking and politicking.
A barrel of oil was heated and hot curses shouted until fellow Scioto Jeffersonian Republican Thomas Worthington defused the riot by pulling a firearm and threatening to shoot Baldwin unless he retreated and pursued statehood by peacable means. The following year and using a wine keg for a seat and a whiskey barrel for a writing table, Michael Baldwin drafted Ohio's first Constitution in that same tavern --- and the year after statehood, tavern owner William Keyes successfully sued Speaker Baldwin for the bar tab. More later.
The weird week at the Statehouse continued yesterday on the Ides of March with Republican legislators bewaring the "Blue Book" --- what all the budgetiums call the actual physical document with the Governor's proposed budget printed in black and white. Budgetillia? Budgetarians?
Anyway, copies were snatched around the building today even though you can get the whole thing on-line --- accompanied by occasional gasps at Strickland's fiscal prowess. Democrats were always better than Republicans at handling money and balancing budgets. Plus, none of the usual stealing.
The budget has less money for the Department of Agriculture even though there's a borrowed billion more for alternative fuels like bio-deisel and ethenol. As an experiment, the Lt. Governor wants to grow corn in the Rotunda. There's also way less money for the Ohio Secretary of State --- the Lt. Governor wants Jennifer Brunner to grow corn in the Rotunda.
THE WAR
On the issue of the War in Iraq, there's a big difference between Mary Jo Kilroy and Paula Brooks --- Mary Jo has been strongly opposed from the very beginning, speaking out and drawing attention to substandard veteran care before it was popular. Kilroy supports the troops by putting her self on the line, relentlessly challenging Deb Pryce and Congress to bring them home.
Brooks hasn't really ever been heard from on the War, in person or in writing --- even when Deb Pryce recently voted for Bush and his surge of the damned. Because of Kilroy, Pryce isn't in the GOP leadership anymore, but she still backs the President and voted against the modest bipartisan resolution opposing his latest military escalation.
And Paula strangely boasts of her great relationship with Deb Pryce --- if that's so, how could Brooks run an aggressive enough race to dislodge her pal the incumbent Republican, a warmonger? Let me tell you, they don't give up that easily. Brooks just doesn't have what it takes, and that's another reason why Mary Jo Kilroy is clearly the stronger candidate for the 15th Congressional seat, having come within a thousand votes and running again in a presidential election year. More later.
A weird week at the Statehouse --- for the first time in 16 years a Governor gives a good speech to the Legislature. I've seen them all since Gilligan, and don't get me started on the bad Republicans like Taft and his predecessor, The Voinographer.
The new Governor did a very good job --- of course the Statehouse literati will overgush about it because Strickland finally gave us some razz-a-ma-tazz and some hope.
Democrats gave his New Ohio pitch rave reviews and the GOP members had to look furtively around the House Chamber for clues on how to react. "We'll see" from the Senate President.
The best money item in the Governor's speech was his committment to increase the State's share for public schools ---- relative to local property taxes --- by raising it back to 54%, back to where it was when Democratic Governors ruled before, back in the late 1900's before the Republicans planned the slow death of public eduation. Strickland has promised to do this in two years without raising taxes, and good for him if he can do it.
UNDERGROUND
Meanwhile, I am sad to report, also this week consultants, architects, and experts unveiled their conceptual proposal to crap up the Crypt, the Statehouse's largest room excepting Chambers, an enormous underground space with a vaulted brick ceiling and arched passageways where Garfield once walked with Chase. The high converging lines of the Crypt in their simplicity convey the very idea of Greek Revival design, the majesty of self-government.
For some reason, an unelected board of Capital Square stewards has forgotten the idea as well as the design of the Statehouse --- they decided "conceptually" to hang color-coded electronic directional signage in the Crypt, curvey ticker-tape type ribbons overhead so supposedly bored school children will excitedly find their way around the building and towards the new interactive exhibits such as touch screen "How a Bill Becomes Law" and other historic mendacities. Plus they get to dislocate the gift shop and cut back on human guides --- I'm not kidding. Oy.
LEGACY DINNER
The Ohio Democratic Party fundraiser Saturday night lived up to its title with Dem greats John Glenn, Jack Gilligan, and Dick Celeste in a joint appearance and all speaking --- and hosted by the genuinely awestruck Governor Strickland.
The unbelievable resumes and fantastic accomplishments of the guests of honor were largely pre-blogosphere, especially if you count World War II. Oh, and they also raised taxes even though it cost them politically.
In Ohio, our Democratic intellect is something to be proud of. If only Dick Celeste would get that top job at OSU --- I heard there was a vacancy coming up in the Spring. More later.
She also raised $2.7 million and notably drew GOP fire and money from districts all over the country, substantially aiding the Democratic takeover of Congress. Because of Mary Jo, Kilroy Deb Pryce was knocked out of leadership.
MJK has been against the War in Iraq from the beginning and has spoken out about it repeatedly over the years, particularly on veterans issues. In fact, Mary Jo has been great on ALL the issues, for a long time and everybody knows it.
Kilroy has been elected to the Columbus School Board and reelected. She has been elected to the Franklin County Board of Commissioners and reelected. Now she's continuing her campaign against Deb Pryce and again has earned the support of Democrats and independents in Franklin, Madison, and Union Counties.
Mary Jo Kilroy is running against Deb Pryce. Paula Brooks is running against ...... Mary Jo KIlroy. And for what compelling reason? Because she wants to? Is that a good enough reason to split the local Democratic Party and turn the Courthouse in Franklin County into a free-for-all?
Brooks is not known in much of the 15th Congressional District and has never been reelected in Franklin County. Brooks has never run in Madison and Union Counties. And Brooks has bever been heard from on the War, not in four years.
If Brooks finally decides to run against Mary Jo, it will be a tragedy for Franklin County government --- and a comedy for Franklin County Democrats, possibly even risking majority control at the Courthouse, something Franklin County Dems have been working very hard a long time to achieve and would be a shame to lose, all for Paula's personal ambitions.
Thank goodness a thousand times for Marilyn Brown, the third Democratic Commsissioner down at the Courthouse. Brown had the brains to nominate Mary Jo Kilroy for the Presidency of the Board and she has the common sense to side with MJK on most governance issues --- while Paula Brooks makes up her mind to make up her mind.
Fortunately, there's still time for her to change her mind and avoid an unnecessary split. Instead of "staying out of it", maybe our Democratic Party leaders will discourage Brooks from running against her fellow Commissioner and focus on holding on to her own Commissioner's seat. More later.

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