ProgressOhio

Today NASA officials confirmed their newest mission set to take place this fall. In a mission that will be far less expensive than any previous mission in the past two decades, NASA plans to transport the lunar lander to the floor of the United States Senate.
"We believe that intelligent life once existed in this building. We're confident our mission will succeed in uncovering the truth once and for all." NASA spokesman Neal Legstrong went on to admit this mission was initiated under increasing public pressure. "Yes, we are aware of the fears that a Black Hole will be discovered. And there is some amount of risk to the vehicle. But that's exactly why we send unmanned equipment in these situations."
NASA also confirmed that the Hubble Space Telescope was unable to return any discernable photographs of the area in question due to a "large amount of interference" in the atmosphere.
NASA declined Congressional funding of the project earlier in the year.
"When it was all said and done, the add-ons to the original bill exceeded our entire budget for last year. If we were to have gone that route, our mission would have included building a new bridge from Cape Canaveral to New York City as well as a new turnpike back to Washington. In addition, we would have had to convert the truck [delivering the lander] to a solar-powered electric engine."
An official requesting anonymity corroborated earlier reports of lavish parties for high-ranking NASA personnel and "Nice, new cars suddenly appearing" in the main parking lot.
The exact "launch date" has not been set. But NASA does plan to use their standard count down sequence, despite the fact their only using a standard Roadway trailer to carry the lander north.